one word.
i've never been about new year’s resolutions.
i get verbose, they get clunky, and i forget them.
they're sort of disparate thoughts—a litany of lists—that don't quite hang together cohesively. and so, a few years ago, i picked up the practice of selecting a single word to help guide my year.
at the time, it was rooted in a series of experiences i had professionally. i’d come through a string of roles within different companies that had tested me mercilessly—my perception of my intellect, my resilience, my humanity, my compassion, and even my integrity. and i just felt rung dry—like i had been through the gauntlet. i remember sitting on the phone with my mom balling—crying that i just wanted to find joy in my career.
and so, the idea of a single word as a guide was born.
initially, it started as this idea around professional joyfulness, but it slowly began to ripple into other aspects of my life. joy in my body. joy in my relationships with others. this single word made me contemplate what joy could look like within my life—full stop.
i started to question what types of relationships would bring me joy. when wasn’t joy evident in my career? in my life? when was i joyful in my body (or when wasn’t i)? was it when i was eating? when i was getting physical (or when i wasn’t)? who brought me joy? how did i offer joy to others?
one word opened up a whole host of contemplations and a world of exploration for my year. and, on top of that, it brought me a multitude of unexpected gifts.
i knew i was on to something.
and so the following year, i centered ease, the year after that abundance, and this past year, love.
as hoped for, each word offered fundamental shifts. yet it was the shadow work that caught me by surprise. for example, as i began to explore and understand what ease could provide to my life, the journey pushed me to contemplate my relationship with resilience.
as a taurus, i've been almost perversely proud of my resilience—my ability to keep it moving. when the going gets tough, the taurean gets tougher. besides, a little pain never hurt nobody.
right?
but you see, to have ease in one's life, one must find their way to softness. pain is antithetical to ease. and, like resilience, i've always been proud of my high tolerance for pain—tattoos and piercings all day, bb. however, i started to sometimes find myself so deep in pain (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) after i’d been sitting in it for quite some time. historically, i’d been able to bypass it or push through it—bounce back—all in service of resilience. so there i was, in my journey to ease, finding myself contemplating my relationship to resilience and pain.
love. well, love has been an interesting word as well.
i started with the cliche—finally ready to invite the love of a partner, of a companion, into my life. but of course, the universe and my word had other plans for me.
instead of looking outward, i started by turning inward—exploring the notion of genuinely loving self. and, (surprise, surprise!) the shadow work crept in. it required me to unlock and examine those parts of self that i had compartmentalized away—shoved up in the darkest corners of the closet. hidden away so that i could love what was left and somehow convince myself that i was loving myself wholly.
take a listen! a small gift of love from me to you in this new year.
as i began to examine my love with others—beyond the intimate—my relationship to the very concept of love came under the microscope.i realized that my heart’s desire is to love unconditionally—without the worry of reception. i became rooted in the choice that my love should be extended to any and all. a deep and profound love for others, sourced from self-love. and, while folks may not be able to receive it, may not desire my love, and may not return my love, that's not why i'm giving it. i'm offering my love without condition because i choose to move in love—with love—in this lifetime, for myself and others. it’s part of my pathway to health and wholeness.
(sidebar: this doesn’t mean that folks have unfettered access nor can they abuse my love. that’s the role of boundaries.)
and so, as we launch into 2024, it is time to consider another word.
as i started to reflect upon 2023 and consider what's to come next, it dawned on me that a big year lay ahead. there’s lots of goodness in the works, and while 2023 was a build year—foundations and first floors for some grand plans—2024 is about making it happen. not surprisingly, i started to circle around the word discipline.
so i sat with it for a minute.
and then i chuckled; because i was like, jen, if you asked anyone in your life, would they think you needed discipline? do you think you need more discipline? and the answer was: not really. could i tighten the screws in a few areas? sure. but i’ve never been one with a lack of discipline.
and immediately, the word focus popped up.
2024 will require focus.
i started to unpack focus—a focus on the plan, on the road ahead, on building momentum. at first blush, it seemed to fit, but i still wasn't sure, not 100%. the first take felt a bit surface-level. so i set it in the back of my mind. and as i was in my 90-minute hot yoga class, i picked it back up again. i began to noodle.
what does focus look like?
sound like?
feel like?
how can i focus on what's being said? what's not being said?
how can i focus on what's right in front of me? and also, what lies ahead?
how can i focus on the energy of others in my space? how can i focus on what i’m feeling from within?
how can i focus on the world around me? and how can i focus on the community in front of me?
it started to feel rich—like it would require nuance to avoid the trappings of the binary. it began to feel like an area of deep contemplation and bountiful gifts.
so that’s it. that’s my word for 2024. focus.
and, as you set out to embark upon this next year, i invite you to consider selecting a word for yourself. so that’s it. give it a try. see if picking a word works for you.
it is my hope that this ritual presents you with endless gifts in 2024—through a deeper set of contemplation, exploration, and growth.
may 2024 be all that you need it to be and more!
